My Life as the 8th Grain

Every season I say the same thing. I know others say the same thing, too. Admit it. You watch the first episode with some sort of fried or sugary food and you get all sorts of angry and self righteous. I used to think that I was the only person who had these kinds of thoughts until I realized that I’m not as nutty as I think I am! Oh no, dear blog readers, you are also just as nutty. This is how the first episode goes:

“Ah. Finally, some people who are bigger than me. See? I’m not that big. Man, they’re so brave. Oh, she’s totally not gonna last, she’s gonna be ALL UP IN someone’s bidness. Wonder if anyone hooks up on the show… I would hope not the married people. That doesn’t look so tough. Yuck- Jillian made someone puke. Bet it’s just for show. I could do that, I’d probably be the Biggest Loser. I bet they pass gas when they run– that’s so funny at the gym! Bad, gross, don’t think about that.. yuck. Think Dead Puppies and stop giggling! Dead puppies dead puppies dead puppies, okay, running farts are still a little funny at the gym. Think someone will pull a